So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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