Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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