therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
