Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
