So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
