HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
