THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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