I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
