her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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