Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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