Porn is love you can see.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
