im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
