wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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