One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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