saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My dad just said "fuck circus"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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