I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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