I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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