just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
