It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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