How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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