they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
