Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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