she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
