Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
