Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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