I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
