bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
