He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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