All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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