she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Randomize
