We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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