Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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