I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
