If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
