careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
