I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
