I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
