I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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