i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
