Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
