My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
