She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
