Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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