I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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