I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
