You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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