I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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