Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
