Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
