Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
