Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
