Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
