Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
